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Thread: Life's Lessons

  1. #1
    Randy
    Guest

    Life's Lessons

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
    second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
    ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.

    SUCCESS:

    At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 17 success is . . having a drivers license.
    At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

    Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER
    forget the blessings that come each day.

  2. #2
    Larry G
    Guest
    So true! :lol:

  3. #3
    Registerd user Master in FishingTX dwaynez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    7,741
    Very Nice Post
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    -Mark Twain

  4. #4
    trombone13
    Guest
    Thank's Randy! Reading this was a great start of the day,

  5. #5
    choo choo man
    Guest
    nice post randy i got a good laugh out of it but, how true

  6. #6
    Senior Member FishingTX Angler Supreme
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    386
    Since I greatly resemble the last stage in the stages of life clip,
    I feel qualified to state categorically GREAT POST RANDY!!!!!

    Keep it up.We all need a good laugh now and then.

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