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Thread: Healthy Level Of Insanity

  1. #1
    Randy
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    Healthy Level Of Insanity

    20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.


    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.


    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.


    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."


    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over

    Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.


    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."


    7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."


    8. Don t use any punctuation


    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.


    10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.


    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."


    12. Sing Along At The Opera.


    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme


    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.


    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party

    Because You're Not In The Mood.


    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.


    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"


    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling

    "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"


    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To

    Have To Let One Of You Go."


    20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
    Go Fishing

  2. #2
    Registerd user Master in FishingTX dwaynez's Avatar
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    LOL,

    I like 20. the best, but I may have to try a few of the others
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    -Mark Twain

  3. #3
    Senior Administrator Master in FishingTX Gentleben's Avatar
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    When folks are tellin a story whether true or not I will usually look at them very suttle ask"And how did that make you feel??i get mixed emotions.
    Make AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!

  4. #4
    Randy
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    Ben, do you use a set of ink blot cards too?

  5. #5
    Senior Administrator Master in FishingTX Gentleben's Avatar
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    I walked in to the what used to be the old Oshamns and asked the girl there if I could see a handgun a 44 magnum..As she reached for the gun I told her my wife had left me and I had been very depressed and contemplating suicide. She close the display case door very quickly and called the manager. When the manager arrived he very calmly tried to explain the story policy about not showning guns to "emotionally unstable people" I then bursted out laughing and said "oh so you think I am emotionally unstable and might kill myself""
    Don't worry i would use a smaller caliber cause i have sensitive hearing and i promptly left the store before they called the cops .......

    When in a crowded elevator holler "don't push "and turn around real fast and stare at the person behind you.
    Hopefullly it won't be in house security .
    Make AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!

  6. #6
    Senior Administrator Master in FishingTX Gentleben's Avatar
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    My crazy bro in law (Billie) did that on the ferry as we were going to the statue of liberty and we alsmot got into a big brawl. This big ole corn fed country girl behind him put her hand on hios shoulder and shoved him back and said "who pushed you??her wimpy littly ole scrawny husband then accused Billlie of shoving her!! i t got crazy for a little bit.
    Make AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!

  7. #7
    Senior Administrator Master in FishingTX Gentleben's Avatar
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    whazz in blotts??
    Make AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!

  8. #8
    Registerd user Master in FishingTX dwaynez's Avatar
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    LOL
    Sometimes you just gotta shake your head and laugh
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    -Mark Twain

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