gator
04-02-2007, 09:16 AM
Subject: For those who think German is hard
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present
the present
>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>10) I did not object to the object.
>11) The insurance was invalid for the >invalid.
>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
>18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear
>19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
>nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
>French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
>aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted But if we explore its
>paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
>and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but
>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
>plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose,
>2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy
>that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and
>ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
>praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
>for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
>play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
>run and feet that smell?
>> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
>the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel
>at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it
>burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an
>alarm goes off by going on.
>>English was invented by people, not
>computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
>course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are
>visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
>>PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
> You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
>> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
>>it's easy to understand UP, meaning toward
>the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why
>do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP
>and why are the officers UP for election and why is itUP to the secretary
>to write UP a report?
> We call UP our friends. And we use it to
>brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and
>clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old
>car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People
>stir UPtrouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP
>excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
>> And this UP is confusing: A drain must be
>opened UP because it is stopped UP. We openUP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To
>be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the
>dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the
>page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you
>might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP
>a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a
>hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When
>the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP
>>hen it rains, it wets the earth and often
>messes things UP.
>>When it doesn't rain for awhile, things
>dry UP.
>>one could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
>UP, for now my time is UP , so........... it is time to shut UP.....!
>>The only 'UP' this missed is that you can
>burn up a house and it burns down at the same time)
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present
the present
>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>10) I did not object to the object.
>11) The insurance was invalid for the >invalid.
>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
>18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear
>19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
>nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
>French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
>aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted But if we explore its
>paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
>and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but
>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
>plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose,
>2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy
>that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and
>ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
>praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
>for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
>play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
>run and feet that smell?
>> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
>the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel
>at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it
>burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an
>alarm goes off by going on.
>>English was invented by people, not
>computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
>course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are
>visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
>>PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
> You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
>> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
>>it's easy to understand UP, meaning toward
>the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why
>do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP
>and why are the officers UP for election and why is itUP to the secretary
>to write UP a report?
> We call UP our friends. And we use it to
>brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and
>clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old
>car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People
>stir UPtrouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP
>excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
>> And this UP is confusing: A drain must be
>opened UP because it is stopped UP. We openUP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To
>be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the
>dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the
>page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you
>might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP
>a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a
>hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When
>the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP
>>hen it rains, it wets the earth and often
>messes things UP.
>>When it doesn't rain for awhile, things
>dry UP.
>>one could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
>UP, for now my time is UP , so........... it is time to shut UP.....!
>>The only 'UP' this missed is that you can
>burn up a house and it burns down at the same time)