Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: And now, the $4000 oil change…

  1. #1

    And now, the $4000 oil change…

    • 01) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50 00
      02) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
      03) Open a beer and drink it.
      04) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
      05) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
      06) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
      07) Place drain pan under engine.
      08 ) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
      09) Give up and use crescent wrench.
      10) Unscrew drain plug.
      11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
      12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
      13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
      14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
      15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
      16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
      17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
      18 ) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in backyard instead of taking it to be recycled.
      19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
      20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
      21) Walk to Stop-n-Go; buy beer.
      22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
      23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
      24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
      25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
      26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.
      27) Drink beer.
      28 ) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
      29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
      30) Drink beer.
      31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
      32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
      33) Begin a cussing fit.
      34) Throw crescent wrench.
      35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes
      36) Beer.
      37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
      38 ) Beer.
      39) Beer.
      40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
      41) Beer.
      42) Lower car from jack stands.
      43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
      44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
      45) Beer.
      46) Test drive car.
      47) Get pulled over & arrested for driving under the influence.
      48 ) Car gets impounded.
      49) Call loving wife, make bail.
      50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

    Parts $ 50.00
    DUI $2500.00
    Impound fee $ 75.00
    Bail $1500.00
    Beer $ 40.00
    TOTAL -- $4165.00


  2. #2
    choo choo man
    CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,but don't want any of those oil changes.cost to much

  3. #3
    Larry G
    Maybe someday I will tell the story of my beer drinking and changing the oil in my '60 black Studebaker. Oh well, I dropped the transmission oil instead of the oil and then I added the new oil into the engine. Quack, Quack, Quack.

  4. #4
    Registerd user Master in FishingTX dwaynez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    -Mark Twain

  5. #5
    Where you using Quackerstate oil?

  6. #6
    Larry G
    :lol: I think the beer was Quacker beer also.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts