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Thread: Red Skelton's tips on marriage

  1. #1

    Red Skelton's tips on marriage

    Red Skelton's tips on marriage , for those of us who are old enough to remeber him...............

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

    3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary? "Somewhere haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "always."

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

    Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it.........this is the old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word......just clean and simple fun!

  2. #2
    whats da deal no one wants to admit that they that old, to know who Red Skelton is?

  3. #3
    Some of us are getting so old that our memories are fading!

  4. #4
    Senior Member FishingTX Angler Supreme
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    OK,I'll admit to being that old.I also have to say that I miss
    the old time entertainers.Bob Hope,Red Skelton,The Smuthers Brothers,
    Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In,Jerry Clower and even The Three Stooges
    were class acts.You never had to worry about who was listening to
    them with you. I once thought that Jeff Foxworthy would be up to
    the task of taking the place of some of the comedic giants that came
    before. I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! His latest shows have
    fallen far below the level of the great comedy stars of old.
    I'm afraid the days of good CLEAN comedy are gone and we
    are the poorer for their passing.

    Randy,I'm sorry I can't go jugging with you this weekend.
    Y'all have a great trip.Hope you get a lot of CPR'S.

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